By: Laura – Foster Parent Partner, author of First Time Fostering AND Shannon Smith – UFC Retention Specialist
Being a foster parent may challenge your parenting beliefs and practices in order to meet a child where they are at. We may have to change our tone approach, supports, accommodations, words, and vibe to show up in a way that is most supported and needed by the child in our care.
This could be:
Using a sippy cup or bottles longer than expected. Delaying potty training even though the school is pressuring you and the child. Serving safe foods or making a different meal for a child. Choosing your battles and deciding certain things will be something we tackle in the future. Prioritizing being safe, rather than โrightโ. Modifying your house rules based on the developmental stage of the child, rather than age. Accepting and loving kids as they are today. Changing your home format to be more supportive to kids sensory or safety needs. Communicating via journal or text rather than face to face.
I see sometimes the support Iโve shown seems so far beyond what you would ever consider in your home. I always hope that people can land somewhere in the middle and find solutions that work for everyone. I believe itโs possible, but it starts with our ability to rethink, redo, reimagine, and try something new. To leave a place we have been and what we know and provide different care that the child needs from us today.โ
Being a foster parent is a great calling that comes with great challenges. It is our job to make sure the kids in our home are safe, seen and loved. When we must do the things Laura talks about, remember that you are doing a work others do not understand and do what is right for the kids in your home. This can look and feel strange sometimes and that ok! You know whatโs best for the kids in your home. Trust yourself and donโt let the stares or comments from others put down the hard work you are doing to be a great foster parent.
