By : Amy Bates, Utah Foster Care
The weather is changing, the days are getting shorter, and anticipation is in the air. The holiday season is upon us! For many, the holidays are about family gatherings—a thought that brings happiness for some but not for others. Whatever your vision of “the holiday season” may be, the reality can be very different for children in foster care placed in your home.
This time of year is often filled with uncertainty for children in foster care. For some, the holidays bring stress and anxiety as they wonder what will happen next in their lives. Will they ever return home to their parents and siblings? Will they ever have a permanent family again? For others, the holidays may trigger traumatic memories of past experiences. Everywhere they turn, they may see reminders of what was, what is, or what may never be.
With these challenges in mind, here are some ideas to help children navigate the holiday season.
Take Care of Yourself
You can’t effectively support others if you’re not in a good place yourself. Pay attention to your own well-being and identify ways to take better care of yourself. A well-balanced, supported caregiver is essential for helping a child through this season.
Talk with Children About Their Parents
Children in foster care often experience loyalty conflicts—feeling guilty for being happy with you while separated from their parents. Help them understand that it’s okay to think about and talk about their parents in positive ways. Having these conversations before the holidays can help ease some of the tension.
Help Children Find Ways to Participate
Consider your child’s cultural background and find ways to make the holidays meaningful for them. Involve them in planning activities, and share your expectations to help them feel more at ease.
Have a Clear Plan
Children in foster care often struggle with a lack of control in their lives, and they tend to thrive with consistency and stability. Create a clear plan for holiday activities, and share it with the children in your care. Knowing what to expect can alleviate their fear of the unknown.
Prepare for Family Gatherings
Family gatherings can be overwhelming for children in foster care. Meeting new people and navigating the “chaos” of large gatherings may be difficult for them. Develop a plan to help the child if they begin to feel overwhelmed. Additionally, prepare your extended family to set clear expectations for creating a welcoming and supportive environment for the children in your care.
The holidays can be a challenging time, but with careful thought and preparation, you can help children in foster care feel safe, included, and supported.
