I’ve had the privilege of presenting to a group of foster and adoptive parents a training on the importance of emotional regulation. The topic included a discussion of the need for parents to maintain emotional regulation in order to both model and teach children to do the same. Many of the strategies involved skills many parents have become familiar with – speaking in soothing tones, getting below eye level, and using empathy. As they left the training, I harbored hope they would find many of the concepts useful.
A few months later, a woman approached me at a conference and wanted to tell me how she was able to implement some of the strategies. She said, “It was like magic.” Her words, not mine.
Later in the day, another woman approached me to inform me she too had implemented some of the parenting techniques. I was surprised to hear her say the same words, “It was magic.”
These experiences reinforced an important concept I have hoped would resonate with all parents working with children who exhibit difficult emotions and behavior; emotional self-regulation in children starts with parents who can consistently apply emotional regulation themselves.
Here are some great reads on the subject:
No Drama Discipline – By Daniel J. Siegel & Tina Payne Bryson
The Whole Brain Child – By Daniel J. Siegel & Tina Payne Bryson
Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids – By Dr. Laura Markham
Peaceful Parent, Happy Siblings – By. Dr. Laura Markham
