Becoming a foster parent takes thoughtful consideration, preparation, and training. Even with that foundation, welcoming your first placement can bring a mix of excitement, confusion, uncertainty, and fear.
No one invests time and effort intending to stop fostering after the first year. Yet up to 30-50% of new foster families nationwide leave within that time, citing a lack of support. That is where a mentor can make a differenceโnot just for new families, but for experienced foster parents, too. Whether you have been fostering for one year or ten, every placement brings a different experience. Sometimes, you simply need someone to talk to who understands what you are going through.
Mentors support new and experienced foster families in four key areas: navigating the foster care system, responding to trauma, processing emotions, and finding consistent support.
Help Navigating the system
Navigating foster care can feel overwhelming. Families work with DCFS, caseworkers, judges, the attorney generalโs office, court-appointed special advocates, birth parents, Utah Foster Care, the Office of Licensing, therapists, schools, doctors, and others. A mentor is an experienced foster parent that can help new families understand these relationships and learn the skills to advocate for themselves, other foster families, and, most importantly, the children in their care.
Becoming trauma informed
Becoming trauma informed goes beyond the classroomโit grows through everyday experience. Visits, therapy appointments, or reminders of past experiences can bring up strong emotions for children and caregivers alike. Even well-prepared foster parents may feel overwhelmed. Every child responds differently, so recognizing trauma and finding supportive parenting approaches takes patience, flexibility, and ongoing learning.
Mentors help foster parents explore parenting strategies and find resources, such as therapy or extracurricular activities, for children in their care. When daily challenges feel isolating and others may not understand, a mentor offers a listening ear, practical tools, and the reassurance of someone who has been there.
Processing emotions
Fostering brings a mix of joy, sadness, frustration, and uncertainty. Mentors oUer a nonjudgmental space to talk through these emotions with someone who understands the journey. When families feel overwhelmed, that connection oUers reassurance that they do not have to face challenges alone.
Consistency
A mentor offers a familiar, steady connection when caseworkers change or unexpected challenges arise. Together, families and mentors can discuss availability and how to stay connected, including outside regular working hours. Mentors provide ongoing support but do not replace after-hours emergency services.
It is okay to ask for help. Knowing when you need resourcesโor simply someone to talk toโis an important part of your foster care journey. A mentor can help you find that support.
Request a mentor or become a mentor
Newly licensed foster and kinship families who have not yet been connected with a mentor are encouraged to contact us to request a mentor in their area.
Experienced foster parents interested in supporting another family are invited to contact us to learn more about becoming a mentor.
Connecting with other foster families led to some of my most meaningful friendships. Both our birth children and the children in our care, built relationships with peers who understood their experiences. These connections also helped us identify trusted families who could provide respite care when needed and helped us establish trusted support.
For more information got to www.utahfostercare.org/mentors or contact Michelle at michelle.ostmark@utahfostercare.org | 801-758-5610
